I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
