I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
YAS. BRING CRAB.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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