she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
