im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
