why do cheetos always look like penises
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
