do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Boobs speak an international language.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
