also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
birth control should be required to get into college
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
