I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
