I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
