Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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