god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
