Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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