We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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