She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I would ride that face into the sunset
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
