I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
