So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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