I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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