Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
