Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
