It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
