I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
