you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
