She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
