i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
