I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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