Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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