she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
