pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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