people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
