my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Randomize
