She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
