just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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