and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize