Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
hell yes lets make some ravioli
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
