i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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