So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
How's work?
Spinning.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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