I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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