that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
