a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
