Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
