i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize