I just made out with a guy for $7.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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