btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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