Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
