So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
