I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She even gives head with a lisp.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
