I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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