I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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