When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
