After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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