i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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