I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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