apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
