i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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