I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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