i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
