Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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