I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Let's paint friendship bongs
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
