I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
