Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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