Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
